Worry Stones and Other Spiritual Practices

I wrote about rosaries recently, after rosaries that were given to me by two special people who felt called to give me objects that are known to help with healing.  The healing comes partly through touch, partly through the routine of repetitive prayer, and partly, I believe, through knowing that someone cared about me that much and feeling that care whenever I use the rosary.  I keep one in the bag I take to chemo, and just knowing it is there helps.

After receiving the rosaries, I bought some worry stones made of a variety of healing crystals to help with the anxiety of going through chemo and constant blood testing and all the other goodies that come with cancer treatments.  Worry stones are shaped in such a way that they feel comforting when rubbing them with my thumb, and are easy to just put in a pocket to use where ever I might be.  

A friend gave me a bag full of handmade Guatemalan Worry Dolls during the final months before retirement to help with the anxiety I was struggling with at my work place.  The instructions said to tell whatever I was worried about to the doll and put it under my pillow.  When I woke up the next morning the thing that worried me should be either gone or significantly diminished, much like the way the12 Step practice of “Let go, Let God” works. 

I’m beginning to wonder why they are called “worry” whatevers.  I mean, the point of both is to stop you worrying, right?  Maybe they should be called calming stones and confidante dolls.    

They do help.  Well, using the stones helps.  I haven’t actually used the dolls so I can’t speak to their healing powers.  However, they did help in that someone who cares about me gave me something intended to help me through a very hard time. Plus there’s the whole “let go, let God” thing, which I know does work when I actually use it.  

There are so many objects like these that are intended to help with healing the soul.  Worry stones, crystals of all kinds, candles, worry dolls, rosaries, saint medals, incense, bells, paintings, mandalas, and many others are  spiritual tools transcending specific religious traditions to help connect us to something greater than ourselves.  

Added to these are prayer, about a gazillion different forms of meditation, yoga, tai chi and other martial arts, chanting, music, coloring and other arts, dance, daily household routines even - all of these practices can help lift us out of ourselves to make that connection.  All of these transcend specific religious traditions. Anyone can use any combination of these practices as best suits their spiritual needs and their personality.

I am a little ADHD and a little OCD so routines and practices that combine physical activity with one of the other practices seem to work best for me.  When I walk a labyrinth I typically chant or sing a prayer, timing my steps with the lines of the prayer.  In my personal prayer practice, I am a “popcorn pray-er” in that I am not very good at sitting still and praying for a given period of time.  Rather I will or hear something that calls me to pray for a person or situation right then and there.  I have tried using beads to pray for individuals but I tend to get distracted after just a few names.  I’m also not good at sitting quietly to meditate for more than a few minutes - my mind goes every which way if I don’t have a focus other than “empty your mind.” Guided meditations tend to put me straight to sleep.  But I can focus entirely on walking with a half smile, paying attention only to the actions of my body and removing myself in that way from the world.  Or focus on the actions I am taking as I wash dishes, shower, or any other daily activity.  I lose focus sometimes, of course, but even a brief time of these physical forms of meditation helps remove me from whatever craziness is in my mind.  And it’s easy to come back to what I am doing as I am actually doing something.  Obviously, I can use a rosary which combines physical action and the routine of repeating one short prayer over and over, like I do in a labyrinth. 

And then there’s writing.  Journalling.  Gratitude lists.  Essays.  Blog posts.  Poetry.  Prayers. Song lyrics.  Fiction. All of these help take us out of ourselves as we focus only on the words we put on paper.  In my  journalling, which I did daily for decades, I sometimes would go back to read what I wrote later to find that I had written about things I didn’t even remember writing!  The words were all coming straight from the heart without stopping in my brain for editing.  The connection with the Spirit was so clear on those days.  Mind you, my journals are all hand written, so there was no handy-dandy delete button available.  Whatever I wrote stayed written.    Essays, blog posts, prayers, poetry. . . all of these are subject to editing. But my journals were from the heart, often painfully honest.  Of course, they’re not for publication. When I started writing for a living, as one does in the ministry, I stopped writing in journals.  Everything I wrote was for public consumption.  I am quite a bit braver about what I publish since retirement as there is no longer any chance of getting chastised or even fired for whatever I might say out loud. 

When I retired I stopped writing.  I simply could not put 3 sentences together.  It took until late April before I could even write a short piece on why I wasn’t writing.  It wasn’t  until after the cancer diagnosis before I did much more than that.  Writing has become a spiritual practice again.  And I am grateful. 

So many reports!

I dread giving reports in Church meetings.  There are so many reports required, and I never really know what the different groups want or need to hear from me.   

The Board, I think, wants to know what I have been doing in the community and other things that relate to the “business of the church.”  So, building use requests, what is going on with the homeless folks camping on the church steps, when I am taking vacation or attending a conference/continuing education course, any meetings I have had with other churches and organizations.  Or maybe the good news that the last several people who have joined the church understand tithing and participation, unlike all the teenagers who joined last year. Perhaps they want to know the attendance at our new, experimental weeknight worship service.  I am sure they would be interested to hear that our Pentecost service had a higher attendance than Easter!  Or do I report that to the Spiritual Growth Team, who are in charge of worship stuff?  I think they want to know about all the admin stuff, but I could be wrong.  At least they never complain about my reports so I guess I’m giving them what they want.

The Elders also require a monthly report.  When I asked what that report should consist of they said, “anything you think the Elders need to know.”  OK.  That’s clear.  So, I tell them about pastoral things, like serving as Chaplain at church camp for pre-teens and doing invocations at civic events and talking to shut-ins and folks who have been sick recently.

Sometimes I might mention counseling someone about sexual orientation and/or gender identity or when I get an email crediting me with saving someone’s life, because something I said kept them from suicide that day.  I don’t share names, of course, or any identifying details.  I have told them how difficult it is to do counseling or even home visits when I have to avoid being completely alone with them, so someone must at least be in the next room with a door open, because of ethical boundary issues.  

My Pastoral Relations Committee asks me to describe my Sadnesses, Surprises, Successes, Satisfactions, and Solutions being Sought.   Frankly, if I don’t think about it from one meeting to the next I am at a loss to come up with these.   Plus I’m not sure what the difference is between Successes and Satisfactions.  I think I would have to keep a daily record of those things so I would have a meaningful report.  (Note to self:  start a daily log of the 5 S’s)

But what do I do with things like - talking to a family not in our church about their mother’s funeral, and being told that I am easy to talk to, that they are grateful I am helping them?  What do I do with the lunchtime conversations with another clergy person who just needs a listening ear?  Where do I share about the various discussion groups I attend on human sexuality, communication skills, and maintaining healthy relationships.    Or how I spend a lot of time with people who are not church folks, even atheists or pagan, because they need to know Christians aren’t all jerks.  I know I needed to know that!  

I understand that they want and even need to know how I am doing, and what I am doing.  I just wish I could keep clear in my head who needs or wants to hear what.  All I know for sure is that all these reports give me a headache!  

Friends?

I got a friend request today. 

It was from someone who used to be a friend on Facebook whom I had un-friended after she attacked someone on my timeline.  The person she attacked took it very personally, unfriended me, and hasn’t been back to worship since - it's been a few months.  That’s right.  A Facebook friend I have never met in person attacked a person I actually know, a member of my church, and caused emotional pain to that person.

So, yesterday I got a message from the former friend.  “I miss you,” she said.  I replied, “I miss you, too, but I cant have people attacking other people on my timeline.”  And I told her about the person she had attacked, and what the reaction to her attack had been.

Her response. “Interesting.” She wanted to know why I didn’t say anything to her at the time, and quite frankly, I was just too angry to trust myself to be loving.  

But as far as the person she’d hurt?  Nothing.  No apology.  No expressed concern.  Just, “Interesting.”

And then she sent a friend request.

Declined.